Of Cookies & Lightning

Two little Ender stories: So, our local grocery store gives away free cookies to kids in the bakery section, but the Wal Mart doesn't always. SO, one day we went to the grocery store, and Ender went over to the lady at the bakery and politely asked for a chocolate chip cookie for himself and Armour and a boy I was watching, Brandon. She obliged and brought out a box of M & M cookies. Lately we have been talking about how it is impolite to complain about things people give you and how you should accept whatever they offer without complaining and whining. So, when she came over with the M & M cookies, he accepted 3 (one for each kid), and as he was passing them out he very politely said "Thanks for the M & M cookies, but kids mostly like chocolate chip cookies. That's why I asked for that, but these are ok. Just remember next time that kids mostly like chocolate chip." At this point the lady was pretty much busting a gut and she said, "Hey, sweetie, would you like a chocolate chip cookies as well." and before I could protest, Ender had negotiated a second, chocolate chip cookie for each kid.

Fast Forward to Wal Mart a few days later, we are by the bananas about 20 feet away from the bakery, and someone was actually behind the bakery counter for once. Ender noticed and yelled across to the lady "(Name of Grocery Store) gives away free chocolate chip cookies!" The lady laughed and told him to come over and Wal Mart would also give him and Armour free cookies today.

Now, I am sure you can see how he easily negotiates his way into chocolate chip cookies, and he obviously believes that he is entitled to a cookie whenever he is forced to go into a food store with his parents and suffer through grocery shopping. So we were at the grocery store yesterday and the cookies they had were plain oatmeal-no raisins or anything. They were really, really good, but not chocolate chip. So, again Ender politely accepts it (Well, mostly politely-he did say, "Um, I think my raisins fell out, can I have a different one?") When he realized that he was really getting a plain cookie, he tried the same tactic again and explained to this woman (a different one than the one the other day) that kids like cc cookies. She says ok and basically ignores hims and sends him on his way with his plain oatmeal cookie. As we were walking away, he made sure to get in one last yell back "Kids only like chocolate chip cookies!!"

Man he is funny!


Now I know you cannot truly fully appreciate the Ender storied when you are reading them and not experiencing them like I do on a daily basis. I have to explain that he always speaks to adults as if he is right on their level, and more often than not his conversations are held with a very serious tone in his voice. Last night Wes went for a jog as I put the children to sleep. Then I was sitting in our room watching TV. Wes came home about 20 minutes after I put them to bed, and was met in the hall way with Ender standing there with his arms folded like a dad awaiting a teenager 2 hours after curfew. He said in his best matter of fact voice to Wes, "Well, How was it?" Then the following conversation happened (all with Ender's matter-of-fact voice)

Wes: How was what?
Ender: Your jog. You did Jog, right?
W: Yeah. It was good.
E: Did you get hit by lightning?
W: Um...no.
E: Did you see the lightning?
W: I didn't see any lightning.
E: Wasn't it raining?
W: Actually no. The other night when I ran it was pouring rain, but tonight it wasn't.
E: Dad, then why are you all wet?
W: Oh, that's from sweating so much while I was running. Ender, you need to go to bed.

Imagine how funny this conversation was to overhear from the bedroom! I was laughing pretty hard when Wes came in. The lightning line was our favorite part "Did you get struck by lightning?" Nice...