Ahh...Sunday...

This is a lot of writing, but if you bear with me and read it, I think you will be amused...

Many of you likely remember reading about the Sunday a while back when we told Ender it was Sunday and he needed to get ready for church and he said "OH NOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!" I often feel that way. Sundays for parents of young children are not always fun and are always stressful. We have 4 "young children".

I want to share my experience from church yesterday. Feel free to laugh. Yesterday I would have disowned you for doing so, but today, I look back and I laugh.

I was anxious about going to church yesterday. Let me give you the background so you understand my anxiety. I am the Activity Days leader which means I plan activities for the girls aged 8-11. Pre-young Womens. We try to do a variety of things to learn and to work on their Faith in God book goals. Last activity Wes had an awesome x-ray presentation he borrowed from an attending that was assembled for Boy Scout groups to learn about x-rays and what radiologists do basically. We thought it would be great for the girls to see and learn about as well.

Not to go totally off the grid/topic here, but I should throw in a little story here that the activity preceding this one I had driven Wes's car. I thought he had books and papers in the backseat. I gave a couple girls a ride home and they wanted to know what to do with the stuff in the back seat. I told them it was just Wes's doctor stuff and to just move it to the side. One of the girls asked a bit later "Um...sister Johnson, what kind of a doctor is brother Johnson?" I said "A radiologist." She seemed nervous. A while back I had gotten a flat tire in Wes's car and a family in the ward had helped me put on the spare tire to get home. To get to the spare, we had to empty the trunk into the back seat. I had forgotten about that. When I looked in the backseat after dropping the girls off, I realized there was not books and papers, but was in fact camping and car stuff, and by that I mean there were jumper cables and an Axe there. No wonder my poor activity day girl was nervous. All the more reason for Wes to present what Radiologists really do.

So, for our x-ray activity night, we were going through, and one x-ray comes up that is of about an 18-month-old kid with a broken upper leg. In the picture you could tell it was a boy. The girls were a bit shocked when it came up. Wes is so used to it all that he just started talking about the leg, and didn't really notice the shock (or the penis) until one of the girls said "Um...is that a boy?" At which point Wes realized the girls were a bit shocked, and he just quickly finished telling them about the leg and moved on. He stayed calm and clinical. I was in the background freaking out to move on to the next one, but the girls were pretty calm about it all. Over the next couple days as I talked to the parents, I found that though the girls acted calm and did not make too big a deal over it at the time, when they went home and told their parents about the activity, that was the only thing they talked about.

Dang.

I felt a bit sheepish about this, and wanted to make sure I talked to each parent and make sure the girls weren't traumatized (and that the parents didn't hate me). I talked to all parents, but one that make me nervous. She doesn't always like how I do things, and I was scared to talk to her as I thought she might be pissed. I had not seen her yet or been to church yet to talk to her since the activity.

So, I was anxious to go to church. But, Solace was assigned to give a scripture in primary, so I went. Wes, me and all the kids in tow. We have sacrament meeting first. We sat in our usual spot, but there was someone behind me I did not recognize. She glared as we sat down. As every Sunday, Armour pleasantly, and loudly talked, and I tried to help him to be pleasant and quiet. It was not working. I took him out and talked to him. After awhile, came back in and he was quiet for a bit. Then he started to sing "I am a Child or God" loudly again. The woman glared on and said in a loud whisper "TAKE HIM OUT" I was shocked and annoyed, and sure I must be mistaken that this woman was trying to boot my already anxious self out with my kid who was yes, being a bit loud, but not out of control or crazy, and mostly really good. He is only 2, people! This lady's comment/demand does not help him-he continues to sing, she says it again. I am upset and mad at this point. I calm him down, distract him with fruit snacks and whispered games. This works for a few minutes. All kids want the 2-yr-old's fruit snacks now. I let each kid have one bag and tell them they must listen quietly for the last talk to get more. Ender is infuriated by this and feels he should have what he wants when he wants.

The speaker is funny. He is giving a great talk. I don't know him, but I like him. I want to listen to his talk. Ender is now trying to negotiate another fruit snack from Wes this time. Meanwhile, Armour laughs loudly at one of the speakers jokes (along with the rest of the congregation) and mean lady behind me again says "TAKE HIM OUT NOW!" I have had it with the lady and do not want to fight Armour anymore. Meanwhile Wes has told Ender he cannot have more fruit snacks and Ender says "Fine but I am not listening any more then." He covers his ears and starts to loudly chant "Blah, Blah, Blah Blah..." The funny speaker is close enough to really notice and hear this. So, Wes hands me Kindle and says he must leave with Ender. I hand him Armour and say "Take him too, PLEASE!" He stands up and walks out dragging behind him 2 angry, loud boys.

Ah...a rest. I sit enjoying funny talk finally...for about 25 seconds. Then Kindle starts to shriek for food. It is nursing time. I look at Solace "Can you stay here on this bench alone for a few minutes and behave?" She says she can. I walk out in the hallway, run into Wes and the boys. Ender is (no exaggeration) on the ground hysterically crying and kicking and punching the wall. Wes says "He is not going to his class. He is going to have to come with us to ours." I say "OK, I will take the boys with me to nurse Kindle if you will go back in and sit with Solace." We follow this plan.

In the mother's lounge, Ender craziness continues. I try to calm him and tell him if he calms down and behaves in our class for a while he may be able to negotiate with his dad and go to his class after all. He will not be reasoned with. There is no reason left. My Sunday school teacher comes in right before Sunday School is about to start and notices the situation. She hears me tell Ender that she is my teacher and probably won't like him to scream in class. She tries to help me by coming over and talking to him about how nice it will be to have him in class and she is glad to have him come with us. He looks up in her eyes, they are face to face perhaps a foot or so apart. He looks straight into her eyes and yells "NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR."

Awesome.

So, I walk out into the hall after nursing Kindle. Sunday School has not started. Wes is waiting in the hall for me before going in. Armour happily walks out as I carry Kindle and drag Ender. We drop Army off in nursery. He is happy there. Wes drops Solace off in primary. We still have Ender in the middle of a full blown tantrum. We are still trying to let him choose to behave. Wes talks to him for a minute then stops to talk to a brother in our ward about the football game the day before. As Wes is holding Ender (and the tantrum continues) Ender bites Wes. That's right, bites his dad. That was the End for Ender. Dad takes him to the van where he will remain for the balance of church (or at least until Solace's scripture the last 20 minutes).

OK-FINALLY I go into Sunday School with a happy baby, and a pleasant, wonderful lesson begins. I think, Ah...this is why I go to church. I am actually loving this lesson. Fast forward 5 minutes (at most).

The back door open "Sister Johnson" I hear frantically whispered and I turn to see the nursery leader. Oh No. Armour (who is well potty trained now) has had an accident. WHAT?! He doesn't have daytime accidents anymore. I did not even bring any backup (for the first time ever). I grab Army, his wet underwear, put on his less wet pants and we book it out to the van. I tell Wes I need to take Army home to get him changed and I will take Ender (still freaking out) with me, and be back in time for the scripture in primary. Wes takes Kindle and goes in. I drive home, change Army, cruise back. (Thanks goodness I did not get pulled over doing this)

Ender is now calm and repentant. Armour is returned to Nursery. All is well. Ender receives a punishment of loss of a privilege, but as he is very sorry (and we hate to keep him from church class as punishment) and he is now behaving well, we let him go to class. I go into his class with him. He behaves. I leave, go to my 15 minutes of Relief Society before I have to head back to primary for the scripture.

Solace had to give a scripture about family. Wes helped her pick 1 Nephi 1:1. She worked on it for days so she could read even the hard words without any help. (Her brother did his talk without mom, so she was going to so her scripture alone as well.) The time comes for her to get up and her confidence wanes. So, I go up with her, act as a security blanket, but she does it alone and all is well. We spend 10 minutes of blissful peace in the back of the primary room, then collect the children and head back to our wonderful Pork roast waiting at home...

Ever have a Sunday like that? If you are a parent, I am sure you do! Ah...Sundays...